When You Have A Blog on Tumblr


You should expect that people are going to explore Tumblr’s vast number of blogs. The system of tagging is such where you can find content from fellow bloggers.

Reblogging is impossible without searching for other bloggers material for posting on your own blog. Think about how many notes you see on some posts. 

There is a difference between exploring and trolling to harass and hurt fellow bloggers. As I have said earlier, every blog I have found was done through just going “shopping” to get inspiration from others and to make friendly connections. The people I follow are my friends in blogging and we enjoy that relationship made possible by Tumblr. 

When a fellow blogger likes what you have posted it is supposed to be acknowledgement that your post is agreeable and appreciated. There are some folks who should know that this is a social network in as much as it is a blogging platform. Unless your blog is password protected your site is open game for anyone on the web. 

Tumblr is simple, complex, fun and more. I am glad to be here. This is where my online voice is. Blogging is about community not isolation. 


Politics and Relationships


Discussing politics can be a very conflicting conversation. No two people agree 100% on the issues of the day. We have to be wary of conflict because there can be relationships impacted. I hate to argue but I also have my opinions and I want to share them. After all I have this blog thing so naturally I am inclined to want to speak out a little.

Some folks can be political and preserve a friendship. I have friends who disagree with me that are good people. We do have other things that bind us together such as religion (which is another blog post all together) and that is great. 

People who can in good conscious agree to disagree but still love each other are strong individuals. Perhaps there are other things that are more important than politics. But these days it seems that the discussions in DC have taken a heightened profile for American’s. 

No matter if you are Democrat, Republican or Independent your voice matters. But don’t let your voice come between you and those you love. People matter more than principles. 

Can A Guy Be Too Girly, And Still Be Straight


As most of you know, most of my friends are women. I enjoy the company of some awesome people who happen to be women. They are caring, considerate, honest, warm, intelligent and perceptive individuals.

The feminine influence is strong with me. However this poses a question I have, can a man be too girly and still be straight? Of course the issue of gender and sexuality are significant to this discussion but I choose not to go there in this post.

When a guy has an appreciation of traditionally feminine things such as chick flicks, clothing, cooking, decorating and the like, does that mean he has abandoned all the traditional dude stuff? Can you have the best of both worlds? (sorry Hannah Montana).

Its been suggested to me by my wife to check out more manly blogs, interests and other male-centric things. Yes its important to embrace my masculinity, but does it have to be always have to be about how to be rough and tumble I should be.

I guess the reason I enjoy the company of women is that I can be myself easier with women than with my men friends. Their interests are closer to mine. Sometime conversations can be deeper and more interesting with a gal pal. Personally I am not a macho dude and I don’t pretend to be.

Women have a very important role in the world. They lead major corporations and cities, teach in the classroom, fight in combat missions, fly planes, preach from pulpits and of course raise children sometimes without a partner.

I celebrate my female friends and enjoy their company. But as a man at times I have some issues in relating fully to their experiences. We react differently to physical and emotional events. Stress effects us in unique ways. I hope I can empathize and sympathize the best I can with women. Perhaps its a heart felt thing. Women need to be honored and revered but also affirmed as human beings in which we share faults and weaknesses.

To all my friends, male and female, know I love and appreciate you all. God bless us, everyone.

A Quick Word on Marriage


Friends, I have had a great experience this weekend. The focus on my marriage and the institution in general has given me some food for thought.

Marriage in all its forms is important to society. It can show the best that people can be when they are showing amazing care and attention to their spouses. Listening, showing respect, spending time and having patience can help any relationship develop.

Men and women are different in how we react to one another. It takes some skill and commitment to make their lives better. Adversity can reveal a lot about a marriage too and working together can make a big difference.

Being passionate is also helpful too!

Not everyone has had a successful marriage. And for those folks may they find connections that provide them meaning and affirmation.



Have you ever felt you give more in a friendship/relationship that you get back? There’s a book called the giving tree that depicts a tree essentially giving itself away down to the stump. In my life I have felt that way. You know its kind of nice to be made a big deal every once and awhile because I know I do it for others. Should I feel like this?

Life, Ain’t It Fun?


Good morning. I have been reading on social networks that some folks are going through some stuff that isn’t fun. Lack of sleep, relationship challenges, desire for change are common issues everyone experiences. I am going through that too. Its what makes life interesting. People drama, job drama, life drama are all things that can drive us nuts. How we cope with all these things can reveal some things about us. I always say that keeping things simple and being unselfish can help us day-to-day. Hang in there everyone, this too shall pass.

Peace, Love, Grace

The Times Of Tony Burgess • Posts Tagged ‘the five love languages’


I have been blogging a book I have been reading called “The Five Love Languages” which has been a great experience. My wife is reading this too for Valentine’s day. We have learned a lot about not just married relationships but how people can learn to love and appreciate one another. If you have any questions please contact me. Click the link below to read my posts which have been tagged “The Five Love Languages”. 

The Times Of Tony Burgess • Posts Tagged ‘the five love languages’

Loving Someone When It Isn’t Pretty


There are people who are in relationships with people who are not the easiest persons to love. Its those partnerships where you have a lot of demanding and condemning from one side or the other. You find there are a lot of differences that keep there from being unity and happiness.

Many people in relationships hate their partner but they don’t want to leave. Divorce or breaking up is not an option in their mind. So often, they have to go it alone in seeking to make things better. It will take lots of work though and it will test the mettle of a person who wants to save the relationship.

What keeps them going…it can be obligation, commitment, fear of change. Some relationships I think can be saved while others just need to end. Its a highly personal decision and should be made with counsel. For some faith and prayer are a big part of the decision to end things but those are the same things can keep a relationship going.

Some relationships are able to be saved if you can determine what love language your partner speaks. I have been reading “The Five Love Languages” and there are 5 different languages that people respond to and you can improve your relationship if you know how to make your partner or spouse feel like you are trying and want to make things work.

Its not going to be easy, it might take a long time to restore your relationship. We live in a time of instant gratification but this is one time where it could get ugly again before it gets better. You might have to do some things that will require you to give more than you get at first. If you want to save your union or even friendship then get help in figuring out how to proceed. Take care and I hope you find peace in your partnership.

To Everyone On Valentine’s Day


Thursday is Valentine’s Day and for many it’s a time of love and romance. Some will have a different experience. To those who will be celebrating it alone I want you to know that you are special and that you are loved.

You have value and someday you will find that someone who will knock your socks off. It will be hard to spend this day seeing other people happy but just because you aren’t with someone make you feel less than worthy.

It could be you are going through a breakup with someone you thought you would spend your life with. Love can be complicated but you should deserve nothing but the best. A relationship like a job should never define who you are. I think people are better than that.

Be counter to the day. Listen to breakup tunes and watch movies that are not romantic. Write a blog post. Eat all the chocolate you want and remember to be yourself.

Hang in there and know that God does love everyone.

Love Finds Hope


Last year I took my wife to see a movie called “Hope Springs” it featured Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. They played a couple who had been married for a long time, maybe 30 plus years and they seemed to go through the motions day after day. Streep’s character would cook him breakfast, then Jones character would go to work, he would come home to a hot dinner cooked for him and he would crash in front of the TV. They also slept in separate beds….Then she wanted something more, something different so she sought out the counsel of a marriage therapist played by Steve Carell to see if their marriage could be saved. Well there was a happy ending to the story and they worked things out after putting some work into it. 

A lot of couples go through this sort of thing. Life becomes more routine and there is no joy in their relationship. Some couples become more like roommates than lovers or partners. We take things for granted and it ends up making our lives miserable. Now there are times when one side of the partnership has no clue what’s going on. Certain assumptions from one side or the other can make things very difficult. You might think physical touch is what your partner wants when its something completely different.

Paying attention to your spouse or partner can help clue you in. Admittedly I am not always good at that. All you have to do is ask. Your partner is there and its good to ask. Even when you think you know, ask again.

Sometimes you need help in this area so counseling is a way to restructure and get advice. Love will find a way and sometimes it takes a third person. Once things are back on track you can find yourself happy and motivated to work on your relationship.