Love and marriage should be extended to everyone, no matter orientation. This is no longer a strictly religious issue but a issue of fairness and family. I am a believer in Christ and a believer in love. In the 21st century we should have marriage equality.
relationships
Distracted
StandardThere are many things that distract us. Family concerns, job worries, technology, social media and more. I find myself distracted too much and its a problem in many areas of my life. God gave me two ears, two eyes and one nose so that I could be aware of things going on around me. Fortunately I have only one mouth so I can’t talk too much. I also have ten fingers which can type and that is another set ot troubles there.
The main thing is that we get distracted from relationships, driving, work by things that are bright and shiny and that is not good. It can have a bad impact on ones life. Personally I need to work harder on being less distracted.
More Rambling About Relationships
StandardI am not a relationship expert, but I have been in relationships. People can go from perfectly fine to perfectly toxic in any situation. Perhaps we should have some grace as it comes to people who are broken. Now there are some times you need to break free and that is OK. Remember to love extravagantly when you can but guard your heart in the process.
Misunderstanding
StandardWhen I misunderstand please help me to understand. Its not good when misunderstandings ruin perfectly good friendships. So much drama has been caused by folks who just didn’t get what one was saying. Communication is something I struggle with.
I internalize things and at times I can take something the wrong way. God gave us two ears and one brain to listen twice as much. Perhaps if we took time to listen to people to hear what they have to say then the world could be a better place.
Relationships
StandardRelationships are lovely, human, complex, necessary and strange. We need the company of others while we need to have our occasional solitude. We need to love and feel loved. Sometimes relationships define us but we also want our own identity. We have communal and individual ties that bind us. We seek romantic links with like minded souls. We are fearful of going it alone and will do whatever it takes to be with the one who we will love. Don’t worry, relationships will come, patience is a must.
Family
StandardI am very, very grateful to have two parents who have loved me and cared for me in my life. I am also very aware not everyone has been blessed in this way. My hope is that those who have had challenging relationships with ones parents that reconciliation is an option or they have have people in their lives who can act as “adopted” parents. Some families have strained relationships so there are times when you have to do something unconventional to have a family of ones choosing. Whether it be people from a house of worship or a group of friends in a cos play organization I hope everyone, has people they can rely upon.
Commentary on Relationships
StandardEverybody needs somebody, somebody like you so sings rock singer Bryan Adams. Relationships are a part of our human existence. There are dozens of songs, poems and the like about the subject. Our lives are made better by having people in them. However it can be tricky.
Author and pastor Rev. Shane Stanford has this interesting take on the subject of relationships that makes sense to me. We dread being alone so we make friends. We dread being hurt so we don’t make friends. We dread being betrayed, so we don’t let our real selves show. We dread loss so we choose not to love.
Rev. Stanford in this case is referring to how Jesus got to know us so well and got to the things we fear most. In this case its about relationships. In his Earthly life Jesus relied on the kindness of others because he didn’t have many material resources he called his own. In a way we all rely upon the kindness of others in our relationships.
You can tell how a relationship is going often times by reading someones blog post or Facebook status. Our relationships with others are a balancing act of give and take. Healthy relationships take a lot of work and requires some sacrifices and a lot of understanding. How we were raised in part can set the example of how we treat people. Bad relationships can either influence more bad relationships or perhaps turn it around and help people know how not to treat others.
We all want close friendships like you see on TV, you know the types where a group of people are very tight with each other. Also there are relationships that are fractured for one reason or another.
Your closest relationships will change over time. Life has a way of doing strange things that cause us to have to change ourselves. It’s very rare when you see a life-long friendship that has endured time and space. Our lives have us on the move more than ever and a friend today might be a memory tomorrow. Friends come for a reason and sometimes a season. Relationships come and go but being there in the moment is always a courageous thing to do. Your relationships can help form an individual as they go through life. Never be afraid to love, it is worth it. Life is too short to be lonely.
Agree To Disagree
StandardNo two people will agree on something 100% of the time. It doesn’t matter what it might be people will have different ideas about how to go about doing something. We live in a world of human beings who have different experiences and that informs who they are and what they think. Working with people from different backgrounds can challenge and frustrate.
It gets bad when you have different agendas. When you care about the same things very deeply and you have different ways of supporting it is when you find that your patience can be challenged. To keep the peace you have to agree to disagree and find common ground in other places. Relationships can test you this way.
The temptation is to walk away but perhaps working through the differences can be an opportunity for growth. So many people will walk away from something they love because of their experiences with someone else. Remember you have every right to be there too. Hang on in situations like that.
Grace In The Chaos
StandardOffer grace to those who are under stress and say and do things that are hurtful. Whether it be family or friends being kind when you are persecuted by loved ones it hurts the most. Our anger can be there for a season, we hope. Grace in the chaos of life can be the greatest gift you can offer to those you love and care for. The last time I checked none of us is perfect.
Friendship, A Part Of Our Lives
StandardFriendship is a part of life that is special. We all need people to go through life with to share those once and a lifetime experiences. Caring about people is part of our humanity.
A fellow blogger and I were having a Twitter conversation about friendship the other day and it seems that the concept is very fluid. Friendship groups seem to change a lot these days. It is rare to keep a long-term friendship group. We are more mobile and our friends change from time to time.
Social media has helped us maintain friendships and that can be a blessing and a curse. In my case a group of people I went to church with when we lived in Murfreesboro, TN stay in touch thanks to Facebook. High school friendships have been renewed because of social networking.
Unfortunately friendships these days seem to have a shelf life and people come into your life for a season. Its something I have had to learn kind of the hard way. Some relationships end because of ego, self-centeredness and other factors. Drama seems to fracture friendships easily these days. People don’t want to be taken advantage of either in their connections with others.
For many people they go through life without meaningful friendships because of one reason or another. Those people need people too. I think our self esteem can be a huge factor in how we perceive ourselves and what we think about other people. I like what Jim Morrison says “A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”
Elbert Hubbard once said “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” Time and love are the important building blocks of friendship and you have to make yourself available to be a friend. Sometimes that means years and decades while other times it means days and months.
Cherish your friendships. In some ways they become a part of your family or they become a substitute for family.