Love Is A Choice

When you make a choice to love it can be exciting and scary all at once. You make a decision to spend your life with someone hopefully for the long haul. Many people have great relationships that have a foundation of love that is built to last.

However some couples drift apart because of one reason or another. Most times relationships fall apart because it isn’t being cared for like a flower in a garden. You have to water and feed a plant for it to survive. Human partnerships are much like that. “The Five Love Languages” uses the metaphor of a “tank” that needs to be filled to keep a relationship alive. You fill that tank in part by using the love language explained in the book.

Some couples suffer because they don’t know the language of their partner. You have to be present in your relationship to make it work. It means spending time with your partner to grow the relationship. Today we are so busy and its easy to ignore that person you have chosen to love. There is a song that says “love takes time” and its true. You have to take the time to love no matter your schedule.

Love to me is like a fire. You have kindling which gets the fire started then you have to put on long burning log to keep the fire burning. Kindling is great but it doesn’t last very long.

Finding your language of love can help you find the fuel to keep your relationships burning for a long time.

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At Your Service

In reading “The Five Love Languages” I was reminded about Carson and Mrs. Hughes from Downton Abbey. They are dedicated to serving the Crawleys. Yes it was how they made a living but in a way its a model for how we are to care for those who respond to Acts of Service.

Many people love having things done for them. Its not that they are lazy but to them being cared for in this way is an expression of how their spouse or partner can best love them. Taking care of things around the house and at work, if done in a cheerful manner can be an act of love.

Men and women respond to this differently. We have gender role models from our parents who did different things in their household. Women might take care of things inside the house while men took care of things outside the house. In two career households acts of service can be a relationship saver. Communicating to your spouse or partner what you can do for them will prevent resentment and a fractured relationship. Writing it down and being clear is always a good thing.

There are lots of things we can do for one another. Paying attention and asking can go a long way in fostering happiness. Giving of yourself is always a good idea. Being a team and serving one another can create harmony.