Love Finds Hope

Last year I took my wife to see a movie called “Hope Springs” it featured Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. They played a couple who had been married for a long time, maybe 30 plus years and they seemed to go through the motions day after day. Streep’s character would cook him breakfast, then Jones character would go to work, he would come home to a hot dinner cooked for him and he would crash in front of the TV. They also slept in separate beds….Then she wanted something more, something different so she sought out the counsel of a marriage therapist played by Steve Carell to see if their marriage could be saved. Well there was a happy ending to the story and they worked things out after putting some work into it. 

A lot of couples go through this sort of thing. Life becomes more routine and there is no joy in their relationship. Some couples become more like roommates than lovers or partners. We take things for granted and it ends up making our lives miserable. Now there are times when one side of the partnership has no clue what’s going on. Certain assumptions from one side or the other can make things very difficult. You might think physical touch is what your partner wants when its something completely different.

Paying attention to your spouse or partner can help clue you in. Admittedly I am not always good at that. All you have to do is ask. Your partner is there and its good to ask. Even when you think you know, ask again.

Sometimes you need help in this area so counseling is a way to restructure and get advice. Love will find a way and sometimes it takes a third person. Once things are back on track you can find yourself happy and motivated to work on your relationship.

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Hope Springs, A Movie About Real, Adult Relationships – This afternoon to celebrate her birthday, I took my wife Laura to see the movie Hope Springs which stars Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones and Steve Carrell. 

In this movie Streep and Jones play a couple who have been married for 31 years and have serious intimacy and communications issues. Streep’s character desperately wants to make the marriage better so she buys a book written by a relationship expert played by Carrell’s character After reading the book and much research she decides to book a intensive marital counseling session for them. Jones character was not happy but decides to go with her. Well after several sessions they realize there was more problems than they realized and were given exercises to reconnect their relationship. Eventually through some painful trials and error they got back together. 

The movie helped me realize how complacent we can get with spouses and even other relationships we have. As time goes we take things for granted with people in our lives. Time in a marriage or relationship does not make it solid. Our reasons for doing things become habit and after awhile we forget why we did them in the first place. Its great that Hollywood made a movie where mature people have complex problems that are real problems with their marriages and they are taking it seriously instead of just splitting up. Everyone can gain some wisdom from this movie in how to deal with their relationship issues. This is a movie with mature subject matter but its issues that we all will face at some times in our lives.