What sucks is that sometimes to be healed you have to die. That sort of thing really is the sad part of life. Amazing people leave this Earth daily because its a part of life. It doesn’t make it easier for those who remain. I know nothing lasts forever but perhaps it needs to last as long as it can.
A friend of mine died today after a 10 year battle with Cancer. In September my grandmother passed from Alzheimer’s. Others have gone in between those times. We all deal with loss at times.
I lost my grandmother in September so I have felt loss recently. I have chosen to help others through their losses so we can grieve together. God has helped me through it although I am still mourning. Loss hurts and when its someone you love dearly then the pain is very real.
Even people who have family members who are sick have struggles to go through and my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s impacted me and helped make me more sensitive to the plight of others.
My grandmother is not the first person I have lost in my life but she is the one person I have felt the most grief over because she had a serious impact on my life. Death is something we all face but we have a choice to make the best of it or just let our struggles impair us from having some joy through it all.
So in the light of the loss I encourage people to talk about it, blog about it, share their stories. We owe it to one another to be there. It connects us as a human family.
Today I am going to a funeral for my pastor’s father. Pete White lived a great life and raised a great family. He was suffering for a long time with cancer so his passing means he is no longer in pain. It sucks that sometimes people we love have to pass on to get relief from the intense pain they live with.
As someone grieves its hard to know what to say. Those who are left behind just want someone to listen. Asking how are they doing has always seemed to be a tricky question, however its not always obvious. The relief some feel after a loved one passes can free them from the worry but the memories remain of better times they will never have again.
Being honest with ones feelings can be hard after a loss. There are a ton of emotions and figuring out how to deal with them takes time. In my experience I just being there to be sympathetic or empathetic does a lot for those mourning. Life does go on, eventually life returns to normal. Living your life is the best way to honor those who have passed. You carry a little part of them everywhere you go.
It’s never a fun occasion to go to a funeral home. Tonight I went to pay my respects to Pat, a wonderful lady from church who died on Monday. She was a well loved woman with lots of spirit and spunk. Her husband passed a couple of years earlier. Pat lived well and it showed by all the folks who came to the visitation.
One thing I have learned is to live long, love fiercely and have a spirit that will infect others. Also live so that the officiant of your funeral doesn’t have to lie during the eulogy.
Remember those who have passed especially the ones who have worked and sacrificed to make your life better.
This is an interesting article about using social media, in this case Facebook to memorialize people after they pass away. There is some useful information here. Perhaps having a digital memorial can help with the greiving process for some.
The reason I am in the shirt and tie is that I am going to a funeral today for my pastor’s mother who passed away earlier in the week. Going to funerals is a somber occasion that everyone goes to several times throughout their lives. The death of a loved one can be a time of sorrow or a time of relief because the one who passed suffered greatly and no one want’s to see a loved one in pain.
The older one gets you find yourself going to a lot of these things. Its a part of love and friendship is to care for people until the end. Important people in your lives are worth celebrating everything in all stages. Memories are important and they seem to be the most valuable when people your are close to pass away.
When you pass on you will have a dash between the years born and death. What you do in that dash is important. Live life in a good way, make things count, love, live, cry and repeat. What are you doing to do in your dash?
Now get dressed, there’s some living to do! Live your dash!